i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize