The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
