I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
