Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
