bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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