I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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