I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize