Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize