I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
