This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
