Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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