You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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