I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
