4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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