the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
