It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i love accidental penises.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
