she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I AM VODKA MAN
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
