She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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