I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
