all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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