you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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