3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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