My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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