i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
