i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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