oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
