fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
