I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
