she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
