Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
