it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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