why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
