It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
