So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
