Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize