we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
