We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
