The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize