By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
