Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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