gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
