sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
