it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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