how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
