I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
