ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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