I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
