Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Drunk is not a location!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
