New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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