i love accidental penises.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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