I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
