Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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