Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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