Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize