Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize