well I can't set my house on fire every night
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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