I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
