I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
