i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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